Thank You for My Clubfoot

In reading Somerset Maugham’s “Of Human Bondage.” And was struck by a passage where the protagonist Phillip, is confronted by his Headmaster to give thanks for his clubfoot rath­er than bemoaning it. The Headmaster goes on to point out that this unique circumstance in his life presents the opportunity to learn what no one else has the opportunity to know.

Rarely do we think about giving thanks for the adversary in our life. We are quick to thank for the bounty and good will but often withhold any thanks about the rest. It is natural to feel we are somewhat being punished when we experi­ence ill fortune of any kind.

We don’t seem to grow in our consciousness when things are going smooth; it often takes an upset to shift us into exploring what is residing in our consciousness. The simple act of grati­tude, for the opportunity to learn and grow, sets us on a different track. We find we are no longer on the railroad of victimhood. Out of the den­sity of thought and ill winds blows a fresh new start in our perspective about life.

We often don’t have control or conscious choice over many things in our life. But we do have choice about our perception and actions toward the events that unfold before us. How we view an incident is our decision. We have the right and ability to choose our reactions and how we live. No government, no philosophical viewpoint can take away our ability to be cog­nizant of life. Only when we recognize that the broken arm is as much Truth/God as the whole arm are we free to change our perspective and have real control of life.

God/Truth is as much a part of what we call ill circumstances as of the beauty and bounty of life. We can’t say that God/Truth is all there is but the illness or death. For if something is all it is, it is all there is without beginning or end. It is our choice in how we see the actions and how we react.

When we surrender to Truth/God being all there is, we surrender the seeming human need to divide our creation into two, good or bad. In surrendering and giving thanks for all there is, no matter what the appearance in our life, we are freed from thinking we have no real control. Our control does not reside in the circumstances of our perception, but rather our ability to con­ceive that God/Truth is all there is and every­thing else is a flight of our imagination.

Your gratitude is not about giving thanks for the death and destruction now occurring on our world. It is for the opportunity to learn, grow, and become intimate with the idea that Truth is all there is.

© 2005-2018 Suzanne Deakins                                                                                              from When God Whispers available on


Letting Go…A Release

One of the hardest tasks any of us have is to let go of our ego, our beliefs, and our physical relationships. It can take a lifetime to learn how to do this. Perhaps we learn in increments. It never ceases to astound me when I come across an incident of pain and hurt from the past that I have not released out of my life. Every spiritual concept, technique, tool, and practice I have studied has an idea on letting go, releasing. Releasing our self from the belief that we are caught by our anger, pain, and self-doubt is a big task. Letting go and releasing affects our identity. By releasing we are uncovering our authentic self, the I am I identity.

Identity is defined by the history of our experiences. We become the boy or girl (gender identification) at birth, the child of Jane Doe, black, white, yellow or red colored skin, good in school, bad at sports, the target of bad luck, the person who is hated or loved… the lover, partner, and parent. All of these and more define how we identify or relate to our being. When you say I am Suzanne or Joe or or… you are giving a full history of your experiences, of the archetypes and tribal myths that reside deep in your unconscious mind. Our ontic self is defined by the epistemology, axiology, archetypes, and myths that surround us and live through us. We unconsciously choose those understandings that we place value on because of our experiences.

When you let go of any of these self-identifying incidents and terms you are changing your identity. It may seem subtle, but that change is like an earthquake in the unconscious mind. Our thinking/mind takes on a momentary plastic quality it becomes moldable. Letting go of the set parameters and walls we have built keeping the unsullied from being diluted by what we assume is the adulterated, sinful in us. These walls keep the good from being tainted by what we believe is bad. In releasing we must also let go of the walls, beliefs, and history that have come to define that moment we are releasing.

We can release our identity from a false belief, but unless we release our thinking from a binary world of good and bad, black or white, the release is only partial. The beliefs and history must also be released. This is why a student of the Prospero Releasing the Hidden Splendor will feel the work is not done… the release in their work hasn’t been fully completed. In using the technique of Translation the same applies and is inherent in the 5th, 6th, and 7th steps. You must release the old walls and beliefs that have formed the sense testimony not just the sense testimony. This means binary thinking must be let go for the now state of wholeness, totality, Truth.

Releasing the Hidden Splendor and Translation are taught by the Prosperos Mentors. Go to for more info on classes in your area.

© 2012-2018 by Suzanne Deakins                                                                                              from Radical Forgiveness available on






The Addiction of Judgment

We often think of addiction being about alcohol, drugs, and anything we cant stop. These kinds of addictions are easy to spot, but there are other addictions that are not so easy to spot.

When we make a judgment or are judging we get an instant hit of self-righteousness. We tell ourselves we are better and it produces a momentary high a kind of euphoria. This euphoria, no matter what the length of time it stays, is addictive. It gives us an illusion we are in control and directing our life at a conscious level. As this high wears off we feel guilty. Instinctively we know at the same time we feel guilty, knowing we are separating our self from our true Identity, I am. Like all addictions to wipe out the feelings we are faced with we redo the act of judgment to bring back the state of euphoria.

Similarly with all addiction we become isolated when we judge others. As a caution here there is a difference between discernment and judging. When we discern our action is not based on a binary good or bad, but rather what we have learned is safe and workable for us.

Almost all addiction is embedded in childhood. By repeating the addiction we are trying to numb a fundamental wound having occurred before we were 13 years of age. Maybe someone told you that you weren’t good enough or you experienced some type of distress that left you feeling alone and numb. To avoid this pain we project it on others pointing out the imperfections we feel within our self. We separate our being from the very idea we are trying to know, our true self, our spirit, our god self, one mind Love.

When we are told we are not right, or judged as being bad in our mind we immediately go to the concept that God is good, I am not good therefore I am not God. Or Truth is that, which is so or good or all, but I am not good I am lacking therefore I am not Truth. Our mind reasons in a syllogistic manner and takes us to a place of pain and being isolated from that, which is our holy center. When you judge you are separating yourself from the binding force in the universe, love.

Judging is like picking at a scab, it keeps it raw and does not heal. To heal from past wounds and pain you must be willing to see the dark ideas, the shadow self, we all carry within us. We must stand still and witness our own actions without judging them as good or bad. At first you will trigger and not be able to stop judging and hurting others… eventually you will recognize a pattern of emotions and circumstances that trigger you into judging and emotions used to cover up past wounds. You will be able to understand what is happening and eventually find ways to heal. (The Prosperos Releasing the Hidden Splendor seminar is one method to accomplish this,

As long as you continue to judge and be addicted to the feelings of self-righteousness you will not have control over your life and feel powerless. Hatred, anger, sadness don’t resolve anything. They simply produce more and immerse you deeper into dark areas of your unconscious mind. Recovering from our emotional addiction give us back our power, sacred love, and sense of totality of being. Recovering is not easy and it might take a lifetime for some, but in the end… like the prodigal son, you are welcomed home again by the father/creative source, Truth.

Recovering from addiction leaves you open to experience true happiness, and an eureka moment of knowing that Truth is all there is.

© 2018 Suzanne Deakins

In The Image of Love

I say to you, you are made in the image of God, Love. You are Love.

In Western religious training we are often told: God is love, and our parents or caregivers inform us that we are not God: I am not God, our silent conclusion is then: there for I am not love. As we mature this line of thinking draws us into a state of confusion.

By eleven years of age, we know our parents are our physical progenitors. We see ourselves reflected back in them by physical image and sometimes emotional image. Most of us were taught that God created the world and universe. This must mean that God created us, and again a conclusion that our parents are God. This con­clusion is in our child’s mind.

We see our parents’ habits and our disagree­ments with them as some kind of expression of God. How are we to believe and have faith in that which we feel betrayed us time and again? We have placed the attributes our parents (and other adults) displayed into the category of God. Our sense of God, Truth, Divine Mind. and Consciousness are immediately tainted by a misunderstanding of spiritual law.

We venture out into the world seeking to eradicate our existential void. We have seen with our own eyes that our parents and family are separate from us. We feel unacceptable and hated by the very progenitors that created us. We seek to love and be loved intuitively feeling that this is the answer the key to our salvation.

Like the prodigal son we seek our fortune in the world that seemingly is out there. We be­lieve we can control any circumstance. Feeling empowered by our new awareness we try to direct the unfolding of consciousness, the mani­festation of life around us. And like the prodigal son we must eventually return to the “house of our father.” This is we must return to under­standing spiritual law/Truth as the governing and creative force in our life.

In our return we seek to eradicate the exis­tential void* we have lived. We seek to free our­selves of the addiction of human understanding for the experience of God/Truth that transcends our ego, misguided understandings of our in­tellect and even our emotions.

We seek acceptance by the force that creates all life. To know the connection to understand it is all one idea, divine mind unfolding, we must give up our separateness and look squarely into the face of God. The father awaits our return. A great feast is prepared and JOY resides. The father is known only to the father. Like 2+2= 4 is not known to the error of 2+2=5 our error of thought is not known to the father who is spiri­tual law, Truth.

We are once again faced with the daunting task of looking at the face of God… we must drop the veils of illusion that anything exists other than God as Love. To escape our condem­nation to hell and life in this existential void, to gain salvation* we must see that we are indeed the child of God. We must pull the curtain from the mirror. Drop the dreams of addiction, of control and separateness for the reality that all we are is love.

Standing before the mirror naked and un­adorned knowing we are indeed love and this love is the only salvation any of us have. It is the only path that leads us out of the separateness, the hate, the blame and shame. We step from the darkness into the Splendor of God. For God whispers, “you shall live forever for have brought forth in love.”

© 2002-2018 Suzanne Deakins When God Whispers available on,



Love Is

Love has very little to do with freedom if it recognizes it at all. Love is a binding force. It helps us over come separateness in our thinking and in our under-standing of Truth. Love is is is is… When we get into emotional aspects of love, like loving them enough or loving them 100% we are not dealing with the love but a personal concept of humanness.

Truth is not emotional, well okay it is sexy and seductive, but not really emotional, neither is love. Love is not emotional. We think we feel it with your hearts, but what we are really feel­ing is the pull of the energy it represents. This energy is pulling and pushing us to greater accep­tance and under-standing of our self as Truth as not being separate from God. Love is the force, which takes us to the Garden of Eden where in we may stand naked before God unashamed in our wholeness and perfection. When we try to break the bindings of love and leave the Gar­den of Eden we feel spiritual pain. Our quest as Translators is to build a Garden of Eden over and over again, so that we may know God un­afraid and without shame and guilt.

We do not expand our consciousness without others. Consciousness is reflective in nature. Reflecting consciousness shows us our percep­tion and that which resides in our unconscious mind. In isolation we tend to become insular re­fusing to dilate out to the universe and accept the seeds of God and Truth in our conscious­ness. Love needs another it needs the rela­tionships of Truth in its drive to dilate and ac­cept God and Truth.

Love is the communion of life. It is para­mount to our expression of life. The need for communion is so important that we would hit the most delicate of all beings at birth, so that they would announce the appearance in the group and readiness to participate in the communion of life as love. Communion and communication are the same concept. When accepting a communion you accept the link/talk with the Christ self.

In participating in the communion of life we give voice sound to Truth. “In the beginning was the word and the word was God.” We are the weav­ers of the Universe. In our work and under­standing during moments of communion, we weave the new fabric of universal conscious­ness. We weave the host, the blood and body of the Christ consciousness. This can only be done in a relationship with another to have full impact. So whether it is with one or a group or a healing triad, it must still be done with reflective con­sciousness.

© 2000-2018 by Suzanne Deakins

from When God Whispers                                                                                                Available on Amazon                                                                 

In The Service of Love

I didn’t even begin to understand love until I was in my early twenties. I had warm heart feelings for many people and ideas and I often called this love. I thought love was for the lucky person. I had no idea who and what I really was.

Then came my first child. Through the pain and fear my first child was born. They brought Gregg to me. Swaddled in sterile blankets. Looking down I saw the small face scrunch up and moving its lips in a sucking motion. Becom­ing overwhelmed with emotion, for the first time I knew absolute love and beheld the face of God. This small bundle carried the face of God and absolute love.

My path has taken me down many avenues of love. One thing I am certain of is that the appearance withstanding it has been a path of love, Absolute Love. Love has no opposites and does not reside in the binary world of duality. It is never lacking, is ever evenly present. The human mind is too feeble to grasp the enormity of what the creator of all life has done. We try to take this abstract idea, this nothing and make it physical. We name it label it, give it opposite saying such things that fear is the opposite of love. Fear is an ego thought and idea. Love is of the creator and is the manifestation of all life. Life has been created in love. We are the manifestation of love. We are a vessel of love in the service of love.

To be in the service of love is not a right or a privilege it is a mandate of our creator source. Our feeble human thinking wants us to see the beginnings and endings to see lack and fear.

Ego thought tells us to form categories, to be afraid, it tells us God/Truth/One Mind and love are hiding from us. It says we have been abandoned by love, God, Truth, and one mind. This leads us down a path of constant looking rather than just being and seeing all we need and are already is.

God/Truth has never hidden. Love is all life manifesting and can’t be covered up with pain and sorrow… it cant be the opposite of fear… for fear is a human thought and Love is the thought of God, Truth, and Higher Consciousness. Truth is always present and can’t be absent.

We stand on the brink of our future looking into the vast center of chaos shaking like a small rabbit unable to grasp we are the source of love itself, manifesting it without end. We climb the mountain of Dante every day having found our name in the fires of our own hell. We stand quaking and trembling afraid to descend the mountain to the valley. In the valley, we find our cosmic destination. Our destination in manifesting love in all we do expressing giving and receiving love as love. Dilating out to the universe. You cannot hide from God or Love, for the eyes of the creator source knew you before you were. You are in the service of love every day of life. You have only to open your arms and recognize all that is and all will be, Love.

© Suzane Deakins 2010-2018                                                                                                  When God Whispers available on                                                                                          



Healing Love

Today at 3pm Pacific 6pm Eastern time Healing Love at the ACIMgather room on Paltalk. Go to for instructions to Paltalk and the radio. Please join us for an hour of healing.

Our history (what we have come to belief about life) defines our existence. Our ontological existence or being is expressed through the unconscious lenses we see through. This existence isn’t always in alignment with Truth, all there is or wholeness. Illness of any kind is based on the archetype of Adam and Eve’s expelled from the Garden of Eden. They were separated from God/Truth and for the first time experienced binary consciousness.

The separation from the (tribe) wholeness, Truth/God is the causer in consciousness of illness. When we Translate (see for more info) you are removing the lenses of separation (Translation, prayer and meditation are a asking to return to this wholeness or the Garden of Eden, where there is one consciousness.

The only healing is a return to this state of oneness of fission with the creator source, Truth, God, One mind, consciousness. Fusion is a description of love. To love is to come together to merge to be as one. Only in this state do any of us heal.

The only healing for any of us is in love. No one can give you love, make you happy or heal you. This is a solo flight. Love is a space we must move into if we want to be loved. Sometimes, being in a space of love, is accepting the love of those around you. It always is about giving love. Love is a passionate force (not particularly emotional) that seeks to know itself through us. It seeks to merge and connect and be known. All connections are of love all relationships are of love…no matter how they appear in our consciousness a connection can only be made in love.

Love is creative, seeking to produce, merge and create new life through new understanding. When we are connected to others we seek to co-create. Bringing forth greater and greater expressions of Love…in these connections we are healed. No longer do we experience the pain of separation. No longer do we cry in loneliness within our soul.

When you move into the loving space, you will know. You will know you are healed, no matter what the simply being in a space of love. You are surrounded by love and those who await you. Only you can move there…into to that space. You will know you are ready to go forth creating and loving with all the connections you will make with your life. Healing is not a miracle… it is

@ 2016-2018 Suzanne Deakins, from When God Whispers available on

To Love Is Holy

To Love is Holy

We live the spirit of being                                                                                                       Reaching out to touch our isness                                                                                          Fear to love what death can touch                                                                                                To love, hope, and dream to be fills us with fear                                                                    To be and to loose A thing for fools                                                                                               A holy thing this hope and dream of being and a holy thing this love to be

Your life has lived in me                                                                                                                Your laugh once lifted me                                                                                                                  Your word was gifted me                                                                                                                  To remember this brings painful joy                                                                                          Tis a human thing love                                                                                                                      A holy thing To love what death can touch

© Suzanne Deakins 2010 Sacred Intimacy available on

We do not fall in love physically with another we first fall in love psychically. We touch the spirit of each other, reaching out beyond our chrysalis to find the JOY of being intimate with the spirit and psyche of another. The moment our spirit touches another, the moment we connect our spirits, the bonds of isolation are dropped and for however brief we know total acceptance and absolute love. Our being is filled with joy we experience bliss and the grace of God and Spirit.

In my life I have had many intimate relationships. It is perhaps more honest to say relationships I thought were intimate relationships. In my work I found, we all seek mates and friends who remind us in some manner of our parents (After all what other source of education do we really have in the beginning about intimacy other than our parents?)

I sought to be comfortable, safe, and loved unconditionally. What I found was not so comfortable nor was it without a horrendous price to my ego and spirit. I found myself being afraid my looks would diminish and love would not be there. I found myself in abusive relationships. What I did not find was the Joy of Intimacy nor did I find my hunger to be known in an intimate manner fulfilled. Sex was great, but the isolation and barriers only disappeared for short periods, and then the isolation would return. I only broke through the fog of aloneness when I became acute enough to know it begins with being intimate with the self. And in this we loose the aloneness, the loneliness, and the lack of love we often feel.

The secret I have learned is that we only love the spirit of another. We are capable, like good mothers, of loving all that come across our path. BUT to fall in love to have an intimate relationship means we must be willing to be vulnerable and surrender. In this, we will know the other person psychically and allow our self to be known psychically. The rest of the secret is we only fall in love at a spiritual level. All the rest is window dressing. Love is not created out of feelings, emotions, or saying I do. But is the container in which we grow and become intimate with all life.

© Suzanne Deakins 2016-2018 Sexual Fluidity 

The Creator of all life is absolute love.


Righteous Anger A Paradox

A radical inner transformation and a rise to a new level of consciousness is our only hope of freedom.

 To me emotions are a tool. They are neither good nor bad, but tools to help us navigate our life on a spiritual path. Most of us don’t have control of our emotions in the beginning of our journey. We try to hide our feelings or become upset when are emotions are not recognized by others. In my study I have learned that many emotions are connected to past experiences that cause us to block insight and Truth.

Anger is one of the hardest emotions to understand. At the moment of anger we all feel justified in being angry. Through my work I have identified many different types of anger.

Suppression:  You consciously (with intention) exclude the feelings of anger. We often push down the feelings and blocking past experiences and causes of the anger. This stops exclusion from consciousness of a thought or feeling. This choice stops healthy processing. It also contributes to a toxic level of internalized anger. Suppressing anger can cause depression.

Aggression:  Entails offensively assaulting or attacking others seeking to hurt others or seek revenge. We feel we have been wrongly accused or hurt in some manner and seek to take back our emotions. Through The Prosperos ( Releasing the Hidden Splendor you can release your self and others from this cycle of hurt-revenge-hurt. Radical forgiveness helps you to understand the consciousness of your anger and situational causer.

Passive Aggression:  This type of anger is often hard to recognize. The anger’s communication of negative emotions is in passive, indirect ways such as manipulation or noncooperation. This choice pretends to be ok, but seeks revenge covertly rather than openly.

Simply recognizing the anger does not process it. We need to understand the unconscious motivation behind the expression of anger in all of its forms in order to be released from the power it holds over us. It is only by accepting consciousness as the causer in all cases that we can let go of the anger. Letting go of anger doesn’t mean we don’t recognize the situation as being unjust or one that is causing harm to others.

By recognizing the consciousness of anger and the causer we lift the destabilizing blindness and rage often present. Anger that is unresolved can cause toxic amounts of hormones and impact your health and mental wellbeing.

Righteous Anger is using the energy presented with anger to make just changes in your life or that of others. It can become an effort to protect others such as MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). Righteous Anger is not physical aggressive, nor verbally abusive. It is a peaceful approach knowing that all there is, is Truth/God/One Mind. Once you have reached that understanding doorways of thoughts you become aware of many avenues of actions available to help resolve the unjust and danger to others.

© 2106-2018 by Suzanne Deakins                                                                                    Radical Forgiveness available on             


Throwing Away Spiritual Junk And Finding A State Of Grace.

Today on Paltalk ACIM gather room. 3 pm Pacific and 6 pm Eastern, go to for links to room and radio.

There is a disease in our world called hoarding. It is almost at endemic levels in the spiritual world. We hear something that seems real or reinforces our current ego state and we say yeah… “I buy that.” The idea is then put into our spiritual/religious closet and usually kept there. After awhile the closet is so full we can’t open the door without becoming overwhelmed with philosophies that no longer are valid, but we hold onto them. Holding on because we are afraid that we will miss something, we will be less worthy and connected.

Our ego has allowed us to ingest junk spiritual food. Junk spiritual food are those ideas that may be Truth to a degree, but lack depth and a path that we can walk to remember who we really are. By consuming these junk spiritual ideas, our mind has become toxic to the point that we can no longer distinguished between healthy and junk ideas. We let our ego take us through one idea after another looking for something that will satisfy that internal hunger of wanting to belong of being loved and desired. The need to be loved and wanted is as much spiritual as it is physical. The spiritual needs always plays out in some physical manner.

The road to cleaning out your hoarding closet is not particularly easy or fast. And no one path of cleaning fits all of us. What I have learned in my own cleaning is that each path leads to the same place. A remembering of your true identity where you strip away all that feeds the ego. The ego keeps you emotional and spiritual locked into old ideas and language.

The tendency of the Western consciousness is to think in binary terms. This binary idea then forces us back into a puritanical place of separation of our consciousness.

It literally forces us to consume ideas that further blind us to the hoarding and lack of connection to Truth/God. For us to move past hoarding we must embrace consciousness as the progenitor, the causer, the father of all actions and reactions.

Once we can embrace consciousness as the causer we can let go of all kinds of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual junk that covers our true identity. We can embrace the idea that our identity is no more or less than consciousness aware of itself as consciousness. With this we can unload our hoarding closet and throw out all of the ideas that have fed our ego and false identity.

This act of consciousness automatically renders a state of grace where we are embraced by the cohesive force we call love. We know that our true nature is manifesting in infinite variety without the death or birth, without beginning or end ever evenly present.

© 2016-1018 Suzanne Deakins                                                                                               Sexual Fluidity                                                                               http:/