The Biology of the Transgender Self

I do not study Epigenetics nor am I scientist. I am an author, Ontologist, and teacher. What I have written is based on what I understand from my research and might have a few flaws, but on the whole I believe it is true to fact. The lesson below is a part of my new book in progress called Sexual Fluidity and Gender Revolution.

 The Biology of the Transgender Self

Knowledge of self, awareness of self and the ability to communicate in some manner the awareness of self are all a loose definition of consciousness. In the study of beingness we often use the phrase I am I, I am the self, the awareness indicating our consciousness. I do not believe our brain and body rule our consciousness singularly, but understanding that brain is directing actions and that mind or consciousness is both and yet not of both is important to unravel the mystery of self.

In the case of a transgender individual (and there are more than binary transgender{s})self is the same, perhaps a bit confusing being caused by the mix signals emitted by a binary society that has labeled all bodies as male or female. Gender identification and self are as individual as our fingerprints. Gender begins in utero during the first trimester. But before we get to the birthing of a transgender person we must understand how the basis of all life determines how our brain will come to work and perhaps perceive.

It all starts with DNA. DNA is the chain of links in our body that tell cells how they are to behave. It tells cells if they will be eyeballs, skin, noses and more. The DNA sequence never changes, but the activity of DNA can radically and perpetually change. The genes tell the cells we grow to behave like our parents, they are our inheritance.

Life in our cells is biodegradable and breaks down and must be rebuilt. The NA does not breakdown or change. There is so much DNA in the cells that it becomes entangled in knots. External factors can change how these DNA knots are formed. These knots are like small machines making many things happen within a cell, connecting paths, constructing things all making life occur.

If everything breaks down daily in our cells how do we remember past one day? The DNA must remember some how. We know the DNA sequence does not change if it did our body would be growing new extra parts like a new ear or lips. Think of the knots a DNA memory. The knots change shapes. And event in life can change how these DNA knots perform.

An event in life can change how the DNA knots act. In an intense childhood event, stress hormones flood our brain. These hormones don’t change the DNA sequence but they do change the part of DNA with the guidelines on how to reduce stress. This piece of DNA gets tied up in a knot and the dumb builder machines can’t read the instructions for building stress control and reduction devices. This is happening on a, minuscule level while on the larger scale you are loosing the ability to reduce stress. This is how the DNA is able to remember the past and affect our actions and emotions.

To The Birthing

An inseminated egg grows into a baby. The DNA process requires thousands of decisions to be made. Different decisions come at different time during a pregnancy, should a cell become a heart cell, brain cell, or a blood cell?

These same DNA workings happen in other parts of the body. The forerunner to the genitals transforms into either male or female. This happens in the first trimester of pregnancy. The precursor brains transform into male or female in the second trimester of pregnancy.

The scientific working model that in the womb is that the area of the genitals transformed one way while the brain transformed another way. The brain is giving the transgender person an innate sense of who they are. We know that the male and female brains are different, think, and relate differently.

The sense of self is not seated in the genitals but rather in the mind in the consciousness. If the brain is saying I am female then the person is female, the same for male. The genitals do not determine gender.

Science is beginning to understand how the hormones trigger the formation of these DNA knots. For instance the hormones connected with the thyroid transcribe and tell the DNA how to use the codes (tell the knot machines how to rebuild cells each day). HRT gives the DNA instructions to cells to reduce hair growth or start growth etc. Neither hormones nor body changes create the transgender self.

The self is seen and develops out of our emotional reactions to relationships with our environment, parents, and growing sense of reflection of life. The growth of a transgender consciousness must wade through dual response. The conflict between and inner knowing and what they were told to believe about their body and gender. In a world that has been steeped in binary ideals and labeling since Adam there is a long phylogenetic history to over come.

© Suzanne Deakins                                                                                                                         from Sexual Fluidity and Gender Revolution


Sexual Fluidity and Gender Revolution

Is Our Anatomy Destiny?

We are layers of identity, anatomy, and consciousness. In our bodies and consciousness there are no straight lines if existence. We are complicated non-binary beings existing in a universe that is in constant flux, change, and growth. Perhaps change in many cases is the wrong word, things have always been as they are and we were simply not aware or awake enough to recognize them.

What I awoke to was that all love is queer love. That is, love is different in every relationship and that there is no one definition of love that neither fits any relationship. Nor can love be defined by what we think we know. Queer love then is defined as non-binary and outside traditional definitions. It is love of the 5% differences we all carry as well as the 95% sameness.

Because we, each persona, is manifesting in infinite existence, we find we are different and yet alike. It is the differences that help us establish our authentic self. It is the differences, and the fractal edges that take us to queer love, wanting to be with another, with a group that allows us to experience the valid self. Loving each other as we are rather than as a binary society has told us is how queer love happens.

Without becoming too scientific it is important to know that your body does not define your gender. It is hormones and consciousness that defines the gender no matter how it manifests. In a later chapter we will discuss the importance of understanding this principle. So for now know your body is not wrong nor were you born into the wrong body, your body never betrayed you.

It was the restrictive binary gender thinking that makes you feel your body is wrong. (I am not speaking against gender reassignment, I am explaining what happens with consciousness and our thinking.) For you to be authentic and capable of queer love you must start by accepting the idea most of your pain and even self-loathing is based on binary definitions of gender and what you have been told. To be authentic means to understand the uniqueness of your gender. Your gender is uniquely only yours.

Queer love then is the ability to be fearless in your pursuit of authentic self and love. To comprehend queer love is to imagine love in a whole different way. Queer love demands you be fluid and limitless in your embrace of love and inclusive of accepting all genders.

A gender spectrum that is limitless.

This movement in consciousness of the fluidity of sexuality, gender is more than about resistance and freedom, it is about expanding the complexity of humanity to the outer margins of our thinking. This expansion is creating new freedoms for all of humanity. This revolution/evolution of gender is creating the freedom to unlock the individuality, infinite likeness, and diversity of our thinking and our corporal existence. There are no blueprints for this new world that is being created, no documents, bibles, and binary rules to guide us. We must form our own rules from what we know to be so about the nature of reality, compassion, and love.

We must be guided by understanding that our anatomy, blood, and DNA can no longer guide us in forming loving and caring families, but by the very depths of the compassion that so many of us failed to receive from our families and communities new families are being formed.

Many of us have been betrayed by the people we trusted most. To move past this we must create a whole language of love that allows us to have a space where we live our authentic self without fear, hate, and self disgust. A space where we no longer impose the binary standards for what masculinity and femininity is supposed to be.

This new love this queer love not limited to those in the LGBTQ2IS community but for all humanity. It is inclusive and love is a tool for revolutionary/evolutionary change. History has taught us that if we do not recognize the time in consciousness evolution we are at the revolution will cause us to be decapitated and destroyed.

If we take the time to unlearn our biases of binary standards, and thinking we will be able to allow a new world to be created where everyone is self-determined, free to be their authentic self without fear, hate, and self loathing, a society that is indeed of compassion.

Each of us must explore our own deep-seeded concepts of masculine and feminine we carry within. Know how it plays out into our relationships personally, in community, socially, and globally. As we discover our authentic selves we must reimagine our anatomy and relationships. We cannot live with the definitions we have been taught and carry within our unconscious mind.

Our gender (authentic self) must be able to work in tandem with all other genders to have healthy relationships that are loving, compassionate, and safe. We must be guided by spirit, truth, and infinite compassion as we form new definitions of existence. When we become authentic we are able to celebrate each other’s genders and fluidity of sexual creation. Our celebration does not diminish the gender of another but enhances all the queerness around us. We must imagine ourselves into existence, creating new institutions, new kinds of life, families, and relationships. Gender is not static and our relationship to our gender is not definable into characteristic of binary male and female. This new queer world is one of self-determination and not one of imposed definition of gender, love, and relationships.




Are You Relevant? Part One


Are you closely connected to what is germane, pertinent? To answer this you, of course, must define in what situation and under what circumstances you are referring to. To become relevant, you must embrace your consciousness and the perception you have of life. Within this consciousness resides the mot fundamental relevance of all humanity. Relationships. For a relationship to be true, it must be intimate. This intimacy in relationships relates to more than person-to-person, all of life is a relationship. In writing this I must acknowledge to the words and ideas I am expressing and their relationship to my consciousness. To give the concept importance and relevance I must be intimate or familiar in my thinking.

Everything we do is a relationship. We view life and its movement as being something in which we participate. This looks like we are separate outside of life. In reality, our consciousness is creating the life we see reflecting back to us. We are seeing a reflection of our attitudes and experiences. When we look out there, we are also seeing the universal collective unconsciousness that resides within us.

The idea that all life is a reflection of consciousness means that everything that appears in our consciousness is in a connection to our thinking. This is a sacred relationship. To know purpose and meaning you must reveal the relationship between your consciousness and cosmic intent. This too is a sacred relationship. Marriage between two adults is a sacred relationship, becoming a parent is a sacred relationship. Any relationship with another is sacred and in that sense God/Truth sanctifies it. Even the most mundane of tasks reveals a sacred relationship. As it all resonates and comes from the creator source. To be truly intimate in our life we must see all of our relationships as sacred and worthy of knowing absolute love.

Healing and bliss don’t come from hate, hiding, revenge they come from absolute love, from the revelation of the authentic being, we are. To be healed of error of perception we must surrender to the sacredness, wholeness, and completeness of the creator source. This is an irrefutable spiritual law. That which is spiritual law has no end just as 2+2=4 has no beginning or end so is the existence of all spiritual law. Your covenant your contract with reality is this spiritual law, this relationship with the eternal now of all being.

Sacred relationships start by recognizing all existence is sacred and blessed as deriving from the divine core of all life. Life takes on a different meaning and is no longer disposable, no longer separate or without meaning. To explore our true self we must see that all life is sacred and worthy of our embrace. To embrace life knowing it is of the creator source and its appearance is simply life manifesting in infinite variety sets us free of the loneliness that haunts our ego mind.

The sacredness of a relationship is never diminished by separation or the immediate cessation. Love is never ended. We shift and change in our view in consciousness but love remains as does the sacredness of a relationship. The ego may scream, fight, and say it is ended but it never ends. We may grow to dislike the actions of another but the very essence of their being remains in tact.

It is with the essence of being that we love and form sacred relationships. The physical being and actions are a reflection of consciousness of individuals but it is not the core of our being. The essence of us is divine and spirit. We are whole and complete in our essence. Our essence is beautiful and loving. The rest is simply window dressing we have come to believe constitutes the whole of individual. But it is simply a series of roles playing out in consciousness.

What is real is invisible to the eye, but seen by the heart.

(c) copyright 2010-2019 by Suzanne Deakins,                                                                     Sacred Intimacy available on as kindle and paperback