Decoding Our Moral System as a Country
Nothing in this series is meant to give validity to one or other way of thinking. It is simply meant to awaken us to how this system is working.
Morality is nonphysical, abstract, and based on what we have been taught. The strict father sense of morality is based on the idea that the world is fundamentally a dangerous place and life is difficult. You must be disciplined to succeed and be a good upright person.
Those who fall in this strict father belief system apply the belief to the running of government. For instance when a city or group of people disobey the father’s (President, governor’s, or mayor’s rules) there is a punishment such as the withholding of funds to sanctuary cities. Rules are made by leaders to protect the people, to help citizens to become self-disciplined such as the campaign by President Reagan to just say no to sex and drugs. Saying no would imply that the individuals had self-discipline etc.
The Strict Father Goals are to 1) maintain order 2) supporting and preserving the system of authority 3) using authority to protect those under their authority 4) using authority to help people become better through discipline. Evil is anything external or internal that is contrary to the rules set by the authority. Good is that which defends the rules and is disciplined.
Moral Strength, being good is being upright, evil is falling. Morality is strength. Moral strength is seen in two lights. You must have moral strength in order to stand up to evil and the moral strength creates (defines) the evil. This concept of morality dismisses social energies, social classes etc. If you can say no to sex, drugs, and rock and roll, you are morally a good person with self-discipline all else is a failing. Rules and laws are put in place to reward and protect those good people who have self- discipline and are good upright people. Hence the idea that those in higher income bracket deserve tax breaks (rewards for being good people). Rewards are based on competition and playing by the rules. Hence, gathering large quantities of money is seen as winning a competition and thus being a good upright person.
The moral order is: God is more powerful than people; People are more powerful than plants, animals, and natural objects (this has broad indication on environmental laws and enforcement); Adults are more powerful than children, and Men are inherently more powerful than women (implications about women’s health concerns are indicated here.)
The Nurturant Mother model has similar goals to the Strict Father model, such as protection and helping others to become self-reliant. However, how this modality works is based on a very different perception of morality. Protection is seen as caring for the individuals or social class to protect them from external danger. Competition is not a concern of the nurturant parent. A successful life for the nurturant is one where the child learns to care for others (empathy). The protections from evils are seen differently. Crime and drugs are still seen as dangers, but dangers also include less obvious dangers such as cigarettes, cars without seat belts, dangerous toys, pollution, asbestos…etc. Included in this long list are unscrupulous businesses and persons. To protect the child the nurturant parent needs courage and strength. Children respond to the nurturant parent out of love and respect rather than fear of punishment.
It is important to note that the nurturant parent does not see happiness connected with the accumulation of worldly goods, but rather the ability of the child to establish empathy and compassion with family and social ties. Social ties must be maintained to remain moral. Morality is empathy. But empathy is more than the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule requires you accept others value system in order to have empathy. This in turn can create a paradox because the value system of empathy is needed to treat the situation. Yet if a nurturant is to have empathy for a strict father person whose values are quite different from the nurturant mother’s values a paradox is created. This situation of course is not reversible, as the Strict Father model does not need to consider the values of the Nurturant Mother’s values. For the strict father’s values are seen as absolute and irrefutable.
In government we can see how laws and rules play out through Nurturant governance. Programs and laws are initiated in areas such education, care (health coverage for all) , social security, financial aid, fair immigration policies that allow dream children to become naturalized without the fear of deportation. In the nurturant parent model of government All people are seen as equal and good, and capable of empathic acts. Punishment becomes different forms of education helping the person become an empathic capable person for their community.
Immigration: The nurturant parent will say see how much they give to the community (family) they are good upright individuals.” The strict parent says “they have broken the law and must be disciplined (deported).”
For the nurturant parent: Morality is empathy; morality is taking care of oneself; self-development of human potential; Morality is happiness (one must be happy to help others achieve happiness); Morality is fair distribution.
Moral failings for the nurturant person are: Lack of social responsibility, lack of empathy, self-righteousness, narrow-mindedness, inconsideration, aesthetic insensitivity, meanness, uncommunicative (lack of response avoiding honest conversation), and self-centeredness to name a few.
Our goal is to understand our self and others so the lines of communication can be opened.
© 2017-2019 by Suzanne Deakins from NON Binary Thoughts