Crossing The Hot Sands

As individual as our thumbprints so are our stories. In a sense our stories are karmic. Meaning they relate our past and consequences of our actions and sometimes our inactions. In the last three years we have been crossing the desert of existential void. We each have formed an identity connected to each other. It does not matter if we have loved each other or disliked the other. An identity, a description of ourselves, is formed with each meeting.

I don’t believe there is a punishing supreme being that penalizes and directs the course of my life. I don’t believe the universe is chaotic and without meaning or patterns of life. It is my experience that we give our life meaning by our very existence and our willingness to embrace our being as more than a frenzied second in the annuals of time.

With all loss and passing comes a sense of void. A dark place that is not familiar to us, a void. Somehow we are connected to this void and we inherently know this is an existential experience. In all religious texts, all stories written by great authors there is a sense of having to cross the sands of the existential void. The night of darkness where we cry out take me from this pain, and give me an answer why. In Christianity and many other religions this is seen as the 40 years in the desert spent by mosses, the 40 days spent by Jesus. In each case the metaphors/archetypes bring the protagonist to a point of self-realization. Realizing that they alone can give meaning and love to their life.

In ontological terms this is the time when, we as individuals realize we alone are responsible for our life. How we react to life and accept our actions and reactions. Where we realize that like Job in the Bible we find we are indeed existential in nature connected to all life and therefore our brother’s keeper. Meaning we are responsible for all that appears in our consciousness and our reactions to it.Like Joseph, of the many-colored coat, we a rise above the land of blaming others or needing a supreme being and realize we control our destiny by our actions and reactions to the world around us.


© 2016-2019 Suzanne Deakins                                                                                                                     Radical Forgiveness

Join us for Releasing the Hidden Splendor in Portland, Oregon, March 16th and 17th 2019.  Write us at for more info on how you can join us for an exciting weekend.